If you're ever at a Hard Rock Cafe, ask for the Screaming Orgasm. Seriously. That shit will FUCK YOU UP. If you want to get fucked anyways. Maybe you don't want to. Maybe you're saving yourself for marriage. No sarcasm intended. Ok maybe a little bit. Can you really wait for that?
Reasons we (ok me) keep going to the Hard Rock Cafe (it's not really a cafe, you know)
a) The bartenders are super cute.
b) the drinks are yummy delicious.
c) the music is good and the videos hilarious (spandex was big in the 80's, who knew?).
d) all of the above plus the super cute bartenders who make a mean drink and know what you want and recommend the awesomest drinks ever on the face of this Earth (like the Purple Hooter. The drink you dirty bastard).

In other news, I bought karate like pants today. They're incredibly loose and light, so that means that I can do a split without risking splitting the crotch of my pants. I could totally kick your ass in these pants. Really.

I'm going to the beach tomorrow for the night. I'll be staying at Lala's condo on the beach. I might get some sun but the odds of me actually acquiring some color are about 100:1. I'm still rooting for that 1%, though. I haven't been to the beach for awhile so, woohoo! While the entire Northern Hemisphere freezes their balls off, I will be frolicking on the sand splashing water like a totally corny video where the girl splashes in the water and acts all flirty. Except that I'll be enjoying it. Envy much? I'll be back on Wednseday. Till then, enjoy the snow and the wind chill factor, suckas!