- You know it's time to buy new makeup when you find an old lipstick that your uncle's 2nd wife gave you for Christmas four years ago. He's on his 3rd wife now, if that makes a difference.

- I went to the movies tonight and watched The Forgotten. As in I will Forget this movie in the next couple of months. Alot of holes in the script. You might want to see it just to see people get sucked out into the air and into outerspace somewhere. That was a spoiler, woops.

- I've been suviving on Goldfish crackers, chocolate, bread, cheese, and cereal for the past couple of days. I seem to have foregone any real food. This is not healthy, but it's not deadly either. I spent one summer of my life surviving on peanut butter and jelly sandwhiches and look at me, I'm surprisingly OK.

- I will be spending my New Years at the beach with my friend Tams and my dear friend Mr. Vallformosa. You might know him by a different name like hooch, baja panty, red red wine, or booze. We keep it formal because there is plenty of time to be informal. Las time I spent my new years at the beach my mom caught me smoking pot and totally freaked out because my eyes were completely red and she kept saying that I looked like a demon (don't click on that unless you want to be disturbed). If I didn't know my mother I would have sworn she was ready to beat me with a bush (wrong bush), sing voodoo incantations and summon Yemaja to cast the 'demons' out of me. Instead she sat down and smoked with us (random image found on the net, don'tknow them). That was a little too close to comfort, so I freaked out by saying over and over (and over) again, "This is too weird. Oh my God I'm smoking with my mom. I'm smoking pot with my mom. Oh God. Oh God. This is weird. I can't handle this. This is weird.". Then I went to sleep because there is only so much I can handle in one day. If anyone would like to pinpoint the moment of my spiraling insanity, well that's it.

- I'm feeling very Grinch-y this Christmas and feel like stuffing everyone's stockings with coals and cigarrette butts, not because I hate them, but because I am hating every single moment of Christmas shopping. I don't hate Christmas, I just hate all the ordeal that comes along with it. I don't mind buying my friends and family presents, I just hate having to choose things, anything really, just to get them something in time for Christmas. I don't have enough time. Now is the moment to look back and think, well shit I should have started my shopping in October. The little old biddies who shop early are on to something, by God! What usually ends up happening is this: Holy crap it's December 23 and I don't have anything, nothing, nada, zip. So I run to the nearest pharmacy and buy all my friends and family $50 dollar perfumes and end up broke for the rest of the month. I also choose what perfume I will give so and so based solely on the perfume box. To hell with the smell, will she like the bright pink box it's packaged in? It's bright pink, ofcourse she will! This is what happens to me at Christmastime. Please institutionalize me right now. I hear lobotomies are nice.

- I think I have a cavity on my left upper molar. This has nothing to do with the gobs of candy and chocolate I consume in irracional quantities. I'm sure it's the vegetables doing this to me. Damn veggies. I don't care how good you are for me, you taste like dirt.

- You have no idea just how much I want a set of funky teeth to freak people out with. I would wear them to the movies and smile at the cashier and laugh evilly at her reaction. Big Cletus is preferred.